okay well i feel better in the friends department i suppose, im just being less 'excluding' myself. and tis' grand. I have this boy interest who is so goodlooking, and like me. But i dont really like myself, so i guess im kinda loosing my liking for him.. if that makes sense?..
im going to turkey for a week on sunday, and i actually think im gonna miss everyone, but i am so excited!
This guy Cill who i mentioned at the top, told me something about the boyfriend of my friend eda, i was so worried, because this certain thing is kinda horrible. I then told kayleigh because i was worried. And when Cill was mentioned infront of this boyfriend [neill] he went all quiet and sad, and i was soo agitated, and plained it too edah. And then tonight, the next night kay tells me that neill told her this secret.. somehow.. she got it out of him. HOW DOES SHE DO THIS?!
im actually so jealous, that she gets everyone to trust her. But it makes me not want to talk to her about stuff, for i dont wanna be like everyone else.
hmm i am very WEIRD.
i suppose im started to get into the group, and maybe if i just give it time, my friends will start to trust me.
OMG apparently damon is 'inlove'with me. Which is totally ridiculous, he is just lonely because everyone is pairing up, and i seem to be there. SILLY MAN!
turkey, turkey turkey sunday xD
oh im using xD's like wtb?! i dont do that :O
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
i dont like you. Possibly hate you. it has been you all along, i realised that i have so much fun when edah isent there, and when she is she ruins it for me. Kayleigh says she agrees with me, but she seems to get along with her just fine, perfect even. I was hanging out with them, and they were texting and giggling why the feck do they have to make me feel so worthless? i was in such a good mood today, i dislike everythinng about her
BITCH! you should fucking move to cork, do me a favor will ya?
and on friday she was showing everyone pictures of me and wouldnt let me look, they were of me anyway, what right has she to decide who gets left out .. ms.superiority go fuck yourself, and your stupid following squad.
GAAAHHHH
BITCH! you should fucking move to cork, do me a favor will ya?
and on friday she was showing everyone pictures of me and wouldnt let me look, they were of me anyway, what right has she to decide who gets left out .. ms.superiority go fuck yourself, and your stupid following squad.
GAAAHHHH
Sunday, May 23, 2010
23/05/2010
im so annoyed., at everything, last night i was crying, i couldnt stop crying while i was babysitting. I actually cleaned the extremely messy room to distract myself. Im soo sad lately, and its not my period so what can it be!!? i think im beginning to hate everyone including myself.
Friday, May 21, 2010
21/05/2010
helloo
i got an amazing new camera, my first camera. Taking pictures is amazzing especially with macro!
While I was in a shop, looking for a camera and old man of about 60 came up to me and whispers 'you are beautiful, you look lovely, you really do'' and i was just staring at him thinking *wtf?!*, then he asked me for his number, i was AMAZED to find out he actually new what a phone was, but asking a sixteen year old for her number!! I told him i was only sixteen and walked away.. he then sat on a massage chair, just staring at me as i walked around the shop .. he scared the beejeebus outta me!
im so sick of my friends, they make me feel like i have to compete for their attention! i hate being the second choice of everything, i was in a three way conversation with amira and kaylee.
kaylee: amira?
me talking away to myself
Amira: ya?
Kaylee: i love you xD
eh HELLLOOO!? you could at least pretend you love me too .. or not, too much effort for your highness. i have so much hate built up inside me against her. She annoys me. Why cant i just stop, stop being their friends. Because the possibility of missing out on a few torturous gatherings in unbearable? possibly... i dont know.. im just sick of being second best, i need to be the best at something,.. but i'm not. Edah is the better drawer socialist, kaylee is the better photographer, friend? and amira is the smartest.. duh what am i? the .. i havent got a clue.
i am just hurting myself thinking of these silly immature thoughts., but it bugs me. I know im not the prettiest, smartest, nicest, or anything est, but maybe there is one person out there who can appreciate this bucket full of 'joy'.
And dylan, i was getting along so well with him, but then he suddenly gets short with his words, and seems agitated at me,.. what the hell did i do?
GOD im a drama queen.. i was beginning to really like him .. little fecker.
LISA!
i got an amazing new camera, my first camera. Taking pictures is amazzing especially with macro!
While I was in a shop, looking for a camera and old man of about 60 came up to me and whispers 'you are beautiful, you look lovely, you really do'' and i was just staring at him thinking *wtf?!*, then he asked me for his number, i was AMAZED to find out he actually new what a phone was, but asking a sixteen year old for her number!! I told him i was only sixteen and walked away.. he then sat on a massage chair, just staring at me as i walked around the shop .. he scared the beejeebus outta me!
im so sick of my friends, they make me feel like i have to compete for their attention! i hate being the second choice of everything, i was in a three way conversation with amira and kaylee.
kaylee: amira?
me talking away to myself
Amira: ya?
Kaylee: i love you xD
eh HELLLOOO!? you could at least pretend you love me too .. or not, too much effort for your highness. i have so much hate built up inside me against her. She annoys me. Why cant i just stop, stop being their friends. Because the possibility of missing out on a few torturous gatherings in unbearable? possibly... i dont know.. im just sick of being second best, i need to be the best at something,.. but i'm not. Edah is the better drawer socialist, kaylee is the better photographer, friend? and amira is the smartest.. duh what am i? the .. i havent got a clue.
i am just hurting myself thinking of these silly immature thoughts., but it bugs me. I know im not the prettiest, smartest, nicest, or anything est, but maybe there is one person out there who can appreciate this bucket full of 'joy'.
And dylan, i was getting along so well with him, but then he suddenly gets short with his words, and seems agitated at me,.. what the hell did i do?
GOD im a drama queen.. i was beginning to really like him .. little fecker.
LISA!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
20/05/2010
hello today was fun, it was freakishly warm! i took my shoes off at lunch and was running around on the lovely dry grass.
I have been talking to dyalan alot on msn, but i have never talked to him in person AND he is in my school, tis' weird but i will change it! All my friends think he is mean but he isent really, he is actually pretty cool, and goodlooking ;-)
there was this saleman at the door trying to sell vodafone landline contracts, and he asked me what i had now. i said chorus and he was like nevermind, they have amazing packages and walks off. haha it was so funny.. he was such a talented saleman. He seemed like such a cool person too.
dean texted me asking if he has a hope.. and said i was sexy, adorable, smart and artistic.. and i didnt even feel flattered.. i just dont care about his opinion at all.. this has never happened before. BUT he did say it after i did a little experiment, i wanted to see how he would react if i acted pathetic and helpless[opposite to me] and that is the answer haha and when i began being myself again he stopped replying, haha idiot.
today rebecca called me amnimic looking and stated that i had massive circles under my eyes. and then Johny came up to me and called me self centered.. and that i look down on everyone, i know its not true, but i feel so hurt that some would even think about me like that!
im gonna go adÃos
LISA
I have been talking to dyalan alot on msn, but i have never talked to him in person AND he is in my school, tis' weird but i will change it! All my friends think he is mean but he isent really, he is actually pretty cool, and goodlooking ;-)
there was this saleman at the door trying to sell vodafone landline contracts, and he asked me what i had now. i said chorus and he was like nevermind, they have amazing packages and walks off. haha it was so funny.. he was such a talented saleman. He seemed like such a cool person too.
dean texted me asking if he has a hope.. and said i was sexy, adorable, smart and artistic.. and i didnt even feel flattered.. i just dont care about his opinion at all.. this has never happened before. BUT he did say it after i did a little experiment, i wanted to see how he would react if i acted pathetic and helpless[opposite to me] and that is the answer haha and when i began being myself again he stopped replying, haha idiot.
today rebecca called me amnimic looking and stated that i had massive circles under my eyes. and then Johny came up to me and called me self centered.. and that i look down on everyone, i know its not true, but i feel so hurt that some would even think about me like that!
im gonna go adÃos
LISA
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
okay im stuck.. and i dont know what to do.. i want to get along with my friends.. and for them to respect me...and choose to hang out with me and not just be a second choice.
okay lets make a list of the possible ways i can do this.
- organise a sleepover [but i wont be allowed, my room is too small.. and im just making excuses]
- share a problem with them so they feel needed?
- pretend to be amused at their idiocracy..
i dont know.. i cant be myself around them i have to try so hard to be involved.. i enjoy myself way more when im hanging out with eoin, aine, rebecca etc.
Gawd, if only i didnt feel so guilty 'ditching' them but its not like they miss me, they probably feel a chill because the shadow behind them disapears.
Lisa: Loves to draw, angry all the time but doesnt show it, mostly. Just wants to be accepted and loved by someone. She can be fun, but in a weird way, and people get bored of her easily. scared of affection. Stubborn as hell. ALways has the hiccups. Loner, lovers her own company most of the time. loves to read. Constantly changing her style. lame
I am GONNA TRY AND MAKE MORE FRIENDS.. i kinda feel lonely in the relationship department... boys like me .. but i never like them back, and it is horrible rejected them, but i want to find someone i like.. so it could be like a goal to get them or something along those lines.
lisa
okay lets make a list of the possible ways i can do this.
- organise a sleepover [but i wont be allowed, my room is too small.. and im just making excuses]
- share a problem with them so they feel needed?
- pretend to be amused at their idiocracy..
i dont know.. i cant be myself around them i have to try so hard to be involved.. i enjoy myself way more when im hanging out with eoin, aine, rebecca etc.
Gawd, if only i didnt feel so guilty 'ditching' them but its not like they miss me, they probably feel a chill because the shadow behind them disapears.
Lisa: Loves to draw, angry all the time but doesnt show it, mostly. Just wants to be accepted and loved by someone. She can be fun, but in a weird way, and people get bored of her easily. scared of affection. Stubborn as hell. ALways has the hiccups. Loner, lovers her own company most of the time. loves to read. Constantly changing her style. lame
I am GONNA TRY AND MAKE MORE FRIENDS.. i kinda feel lonely in the relationship department... boys like me .. but i never like them back, and it is horrible rejected them, but i want to find someone i like.. so it could be like a goal to get them or something along those lines.
lisa
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
18/05/2010
today was full of school..yay! okay i actually enjoy school sorry if that makes me a freak but i enjoy talking to everyone, but also because i love to learn, i like dooing my subjects especially when i understand stuff it makes me feel all fuzzy inside. BUT the class i like most is defenately [obviously not english how do you spell it, definately.. oh) art, it is my talent and the only thing im good at, i have actually won a student award, 2 seniors out of a 1100 students were chosen!!!:D i won a gold disk thing and lost it... but then i fount it again. hmmm im gonna figure out how to upload pictures so i can share my favoured hobby with my one 
follwer HELLO ms. whiner! 
follwer HELLO ms. whiner! .
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if you want to nosey at more .. this is my deviant art profile ------------- oh burn .. okay it wont paste but asure you'll just have to suffer mwahaha ahhh here it is http://m0osicdork.deviantart.com/
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damon, he is a silly man. I met him at work experience, and became friends. He had NO friends, and so i brought him into my group and he was accepted immediately, we invited him everywhere with us and did everything with him, but he is always down and depressed. He cant live in the moment but after being friends with us for a month he is just thinking about how we o nly have one year left! he wont stop saying how terrible it is. He just cant appreciate what he has, he also annoys be by sticking to my side like a squid. I deliberatley manouver myself in a way that it seems impossible to stay at my side but he still manages it! I hate being connected to someone like that or anyone, and im a very personal.. person and it just irritates me. Hmm i should ask him to stop and i sha'll, using the nicest words.. or maybe the harshest .. i mightbe able to snap him out of it... genie cross ur fingers for moi.
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okay something else that is very weird is that my mam came into my room this morning.. and sat on my bed for a while, and i got so irritated and i dont understand my action i like stormed out of the room and waited for her to leave ubtil i returned. She was only sitting on my bed reading .. hmm i must be kinda a freakk.
Well thats enough for today good byee!
Lisaa
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